October 23, 2006 I can't be the only person on this planet completely bored and over myspace right now. I mean I log in once a day to say yo to people but spending more than five minutes on that thing is five minutes of my life I'll never get back. I'd rather play my Prince of Persia or something... maybe read a book *gasp* Who feels the same? I'm really getting into the spirit of Halloween and this year I carved my very first pumpkin! Stencils and all... next year, since I'll be a veteran, I might go with my own design...

October 9, 2006 It's that time of year again folks! Yep... it's that time when the rest of the world decides it's normal to dress up like we cosplayers do almost every day. PANSIES ALL OF YOU! Halloween is a year round thing and the ravers have the candy to prove it. Now I must say tis the season to learn a couple of things that were in the back of my mind were actually true. And in order to find if things are REALLY the way I think they are - you have to go and do a little field research... You see, kids, the family spots you are hitting with the children are really not as wholesome as you think. You heard me kids! GHOUL SEX! Knotts Scary Farm, Six Flags, Universal Studios, Ship Wrecked on the Queen Mary - all are family attractions that have all kinds of ghoulish hanky panky going on in the "scary" dark corners. And since there are a lot of scary dark corners at these places - well - sometimes the moaning isn't inspired by the ghosts and goblins. To do a little further research, I went with two Ghoul veterans from Cult Radio a Go Go to Ship Wrecked to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. Now mind you, both of my guides were pros who already confirmed the ghastly behind the scenes behavior but I needed to check with the Pirate Wolfman, the Goblin Skeleton and a few other little Dead Girls. Apparently - YOU are a nation of sick and twisted F#@$%@!!! I wonder if Kinsey ever thought about the masked sex/monster sex/plushie sex/sex with a stranger dressed like a ghoul in the middle of a 3D terror maze... etcetera etcetera... Bored housewives - INDEED! But let me say, the guys in the costumes were just raking in the chicks - never mind that they were all completely out of shape, bellies drooping over the pants of their costumes and getting out of breath after each howl - I guess the sex appeal is like that of costume balls in Europe. Jeese! I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm always looking out for the awkward fanboy who seems to never get any - my advice? Go put on a costume, some black makeup around the eyes and a full on mask and get your butt to a theme park - you'll make money and get some! Hey - am I not the greatest friend a geek could have?

July 5, 2006 OK, so did... like... anyone other than me catch the totally ghetto story plot to Superman Returns? OK, I'll explain. Think baby mama drama. So, like this slut (Lois) is banging two guys at the same time and gets knocked up. She doesn't know who the baby's daddy is so, like, she picks the more stable chump to take care of the kid for 5 years (making him believe he is the father) while the other Daddy is... like... on some other planet or something. Kind of hard to find the baby's daddy so... like, the child support ain't coming in so... she decides to tell the world how bad the other baby's daddy is because he like dumped her to go "soul search" and find his damn self... shiiiiiat! And *sob* without saying good-bye! And just like the ghetto, when the real baby daddy comes around he doesn't want to git back togetha with the mutha 'cause by then she's old news and he has better things to do. Word!

June 7, 2006 So like, did everyone freak out about yesterday being 6/6/06? I knew something was up when some mother of three looked at me in the elevator and asked what I thought. I was like.."the weather seems nice" and she was like "no, it's the end of the world day..." and I muttered as I left the elevator, "so off to church you go and don't let the door knob...". My point? Nuttin' really just laughing at the little peons of society. BACK TO YOUR KITCHEN WOMAN! Now where was I.... You might be wondering about what happened to warriormistress.com the other day when it went down for two days... well, and the warrior web mistress is REALLY mad over this so I'm writing about it here. Well, the server idiots ERASED the whole site. Idiot me didn't have a backup so now what you see is the remains of what I could get back so please bear with me as I try to clean up the broken links since now my archives and galleries have more holes in them than Courtney Love.

April 18th, 2006 And here I am just sitting here minding my own business when the Warrior Web mistress decides to update... like... 150 old friggin pictures of me up on the Archives. I gotta say one thing. I think you guys realize by now that this web site is sort of my life journal and it documents my craziness for the last decade I've been going nuts. The pictures are kind of a chronicle to my life as a model/actress/stunt chick/ and whatever else I wound up doing in the time I've been on this crazy mud ball planet. I hope you're laughing at some of these crazy images of me. I just want everyone to know that this site probably has the most complete photography of me ever assembled from my private life as well as formal photography of modeling and acting shoots. You asked for an all schoolgirl thing so now you got it! I was one crazy kid. Wait a minute... I STILL am!

April 5th, 2006 I really have to rant on this one. MYSPACE! What the hell! I'm not even on there a week and I have seemed to have pissed everyone on the planet (that I know) off. There's a comment war going on right now between... ah who cares. Friend lists, requests, comments, pictures, classifieds... not to mention all of the 18 year old I know in the adult industry were recruited from there. I just don't get it! Oh well. I just wanted to rant about yesterday's little Stan Lee "Who Wants to be the Next Superhero) fiasco. I walk in (it was the "open call" that they had yesterday) and I feel right at home, like its a tiny comic book convention. Except EVERYONE is in costume. Mind you, not enough people put any thought into the costumes but at least they get an A for effort. I mean it was pretty close to bed sheets for capes and pots on their heads for helmets. Everyone had a cool character thing going on. The only thing that I think is uncool about this whole thing is that the show thinks it's going to own your character if you go on. I DON'T THINK SO STAN. Have you really run out of ideas at this point that you have to do an open call for geeks everywhere to dream of living out three weeks as superheros? Oh, don't get me wrong, if I had a left nut, I'd gladly give it to be on the show (good thing I'm a girl). Bwahahahahaha!

March 17th, 2006 Holy molly! Are my archives coming to light? JEEEEZE! I really am like...16 in some of them. There's a gallery coming up, I think the next one (Archive 04) where you really see some really Lolita-like pictures. Crap. I'll tell the Warrior Web Mistress to especially mark those off for you to beat off. Then we can all look forward to the ever popular schoolgirls archive #5 coming up. Boy, I'm like looking over the Vampire Gallery, and those memories are surfacing to the point of traumatic. The actual HORROR some of the stuff I've done is. I mean it is... like "Showgirls" scary. Bad... so very bad.... and then I get called out all the time over "Strange Things Happen at Sundown", yet another vampire classic... oh just kill me now.. wait, that will only help my vampire type cast. I don't think I'll ever get to play the girl next door. Maybe the psycho girlfriend holding the ax next door. Hhhhheeeeeerrrrrreeeee's Vera! On a brighter side, the red carpet was fun thanks to the good people at In My Opinion . Major props to Velva Carter and sexy Kyle Swan. Damn! And all I thought I was, was the living dead. No I'm not dead - just undead apparently. Ouch! My panties just bit me! Who said that? Damn Turrets....

October 15th, 2005 How's this for some crazy $#!&. So Nightcrawler is doing some security work on Sunset Blvd. at some ritzy dive where there is a private screening room and guess what was screening there? * Jeopardy music* Yeah. BloodRayne. So he calls me and tells me to get my ass over there because the director/producer man is there. Me, being the two faced hypocritical attention whore that I am, appear there exactly thirty minutes later with a composite shot and all of my cards and so on in hand. I meet Mr. Jim Schram and hand him the pictures (and you can see the entire set of them in Gallery 9). He was totally impressed. So much so that I got to see the movie, YEP! I SAW it. The following is my review... *clears throat* I wanted to hate it. I wanted it to be corny and stupid. I wanted to go, "Jeeze, what a waste of time that was." I gotta say, it was not bad, not corny, not campy,.. not bad. The story was there. The acting not bad. Damn it! I might even say it was good *eeeeekkkkkkkkkkk*. OK, composure... The only thing I hated about the movie and my mother who, by the way made my costume, was the movie costume. It was baggy and terrible. BUT! That was the reason I did the BloodRayne costume to begin with, RIGHT? To show "them" how it is DONE! AND I GOT MY CHANCE TO DO SO! How many cosplaying geeks can say that?

July 25th, 2005 Hello... Uh... Well... Why is it that I am so very pathetic at updating this website? Well... I've been too stupid to get an internet connection in my house. EEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKK! * scream* - In cyberspace - nobody can hear your scream - or can they? With MP3... Anyway, did you kids see me at San Diego Comicon? Well? Did you? I was the most seriously kickass BloodRayne the world did ever see! *evil laugh* So much so that the Majesco people hunted me down like an animal and were offering fanboys around the con bribes (I mean stuff) if they could find me and bring me back to their lair (I mean booth). Well, I'm a gonna work on becoming the official super yummy BloodRayne cause lets face it, the chick from E3 didn't cut it - not that I was even interested or aware of yet another video game chick that just happened to look just like me anyway - so I guess my bad - sorry. OK, so like did you guys see me win three times over at the Masquerade? I won the Comicon Award for Best Presentation for me and David's rendition of Nightcrawler versus Tomb Raider. We went on to win another 1st place from Anime Pavillion and another award from Comic Gallery Store for their favorite costume. Darn we are good! We did a kung fu fight using moves that Tomb Raider and Nightcrawler did in the video game and X2 movie. It all ended with a kiss. The audience went wild! One other rant! Thank God I'm a hot chick. If I wasn't, I would never have been able to bring my Rayne Blades with me into the con. Apparently I have an innocent face enough so when they took me over to "Peace Tie" me (what a load of crap!) I looked them in the eye and said "Little 'ol me? Why I've never hurt anyone with these ferocious nasty 2 foot long metal sharp blade thingies strapped (almost permanently) to my little 'ol wrists." Then I went on to giggle like a little girl. I will say this - guys, I'm sorry but that whole thing only works for cute chicks wearing next to nothing. One last thing... I will be doing an official photoshoot as Rayne for what might possibly wind up on the cover of the BloodRyane Comic book so ya'll will go out and get a copy right?... right....

January 16, 2005 Happy New Year everybody! I've finally gotten the 'ol boot and stuck it up the 'ol Web Mistresses butt and blow and behold! 90 NEW pictures in the 'ol galleries. I should have dusted that boot off sooner. I'm trying to document my adventures out here in LA LA land but other than the occasional run in with various porn stars... well... those are just some fine and fun folks to be around. Some projects are coming up that I will be able to give you a better idea of what's going on as soon as I know. Went to Vegas for the AVN convention. It was like a gathering of good friends. Knew almost everyone there. OK, now before you people start getting all worried and ask me a bunch of questions that will force me to update the FAQ page and we all know the 'ol Web Mistress HATES to work, we can't bother her with these sort of trivial things but what is my link to the porn industry? Have I gone south? Did my morals decline? Where would you see me in some hard core action? ANSWER: Sike you fat bastards... I just do background (as in extras) on a bunch of the films for Vivid as a way to have a fun afternoon. This means I sit in the back and pretend to sip drinks and mime conversation. You see, these days, porn has decided that they are making "real movies" with story lines and those pesky things called "plots". Gosh! Where have the old days of just hitting play and getting right down to it gone? I ask you! Where? So yeah, I'm one of those faces in the background that makes you think the "story" is actually believable. So don't ask me any more about this thing. The most you'll see me in is as Vanity on "Janine Loves Jenna" - Photos are in the galleries. Peace.

December 15, 2004 OK, I never really read what the Web Mistress writes in the news section but I can only guess. Hmmmm maybe I SHOULD read that thing once in a while. Usually I hand her some scribble that she turns into what you may or may not be reading right now. OK to get through everything quickly and answer all questions without getting into the FAQ sections. Yes, I moved to LA LA land. *Bing* Yes, I was homeless for 4 months. *Bing* Yes, I squatted in an abandoned building in South Central (Slauson and Hoover to be exact). *Bing* Yes, I was in a huge car wreck two weeks ago. *Bing* Yes, I'm completely all right. *Bing* No, I'm not moving back to NYC, if anything I'll be going back and forth, thus becoming bicoastal *Ding Ding* Yes, I'll be better at updating this web site (as one hand wraps around the Web Mistress's neck). *Bing* No, I'm not dying - at least not at this very moment. *Ding Ding* Yes, I'm back in super awesome shape. *Bing* What else... Oh yeah! I'm super - thanks for asking. So if you looked at my current resume - the hidden one that I really don't care for, I've been quite the busy bee. "Doomed" was fun as hell to do. I was a different Zombie every day (usually because the makeup department decided that continuity was for big budget losers. So if you look close, you can see me as a contestant in the red shirt (and all you Trekkies know what happens to the crewman who wears the red shirt) and 5 different zombies - look for the bright red hair you love so much. I've been working pretty much seven days a week for the past seven months and I'm glad to be on a break this holiday season and remember to be thankful and grateful for my life and that I've been able to overcome such a difficult year without any help. I knew I had the love and support from my fans and family back east but since I had no computer, I had a very difficult time staying in touch with you guys. I didn't forget any of you and I have been doing the West Coast conventions. I'll try to come out for some East coast ones if they don't coincide with work out here. I wish you all an amazing New Year and all the various holidays you may celebrate. I know that Web Mistress has started a 'SAVE THE VERA FUND". I think that's sweet. It's all good! Stay tuned.

May 19, 2004 This updating the web site thing is getting out of hand. For those of you who have cracked the whip on me (which begs the question of how DO you punish a masochist?) about not updating I say this - *RASPBERRIES!* I'm busy! I moved to LA - found myself homeless for two months - squatted and had a myriad lot of adventures in South Central... yo... anyway, I'm in Hollywood now - just in case anyone wants to stalk me - which is of course fine with me... just watch out for the little monkey... AHA! I fooled you all. I wasn't able to get an update up but I was at Wondercon. Lovely I tell ya - it's like a mini tiny Comicon - with pie. Had a great time. Highly recommend it. See ya all at Comicon. One last note: For those of you in the fanboys know, I'm one of the finalists with the Warrior Mistress character in Who Wants To Be a Superhero with Stan Lee and MTV involved. Now, I'm not exactly great reality television, *chuckles*, but that would be pretty kewl - no?

February 27, 2004 How totally kewl was Battle of Detroit you ask? Pretty friggin' awesome. Much thanks to Grandmaster Dr. Ibraham and Julia, Lisa and Grigg. You guys made the trip amazing. OK, how cool is having a last name like "Kil"? The "Kil Martial arts School" - so that makes the head school guy "Master Kil".... Bwahahahaha! Considering the other guests there were Paul Ganus (whassup?) and Michael Jai While (who just did Kill Bill 2 as DAMO - which BTW was a character I played in Once Upon a Time... in an earlier version) - but as everyone knows - Gordon Liu was Master Killer sooo I don't really want to spell out the joke for you people. Here's a pic from the show. OK, now for a little side note. ARRRRG!... Did a cute little stunt this week. I doubled for an elderly woman (or as I like to call it "an old bag") and had a flower pot dropped on my head from a second story balcony thus crumbling to the floor. The director giggled. No blood was spilled - so a good day's work was done I say! The only downside - I had to perform in day-glo neon green pumps - Bummer man.

December 30, 2003 Well! Jesus tap dancing Christ - I haven't ranted in a long time! Oh well... Here's a link to a picture with me from Dragonfest Well kiddies, I'm trading the East coast for the West coast - Ah... my Journey to the West as twer... So I'll get to see a whole lot of ya who've been buzzing around my head going "When will you come out here?" See? I live to please :) Thanks to all the folks who loved my ass getting blown up on All My Children. To answer the whole lot of ya, no - the fall didn't hurt. What hurt was all the crap they shoot at you when you fly off the air ramp. Stings like a bitch. Otherwise for the rest of you who wanna know, the debris is made up of wheat, flour, oatmeal and Styrofoam - basically everything you need to make some yummy cookies - aside from the Styrofoam HAPPY HOLIDAYS KIDDIES! I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A FABU NEW YEAR AND I GET THE CRAP KICKED OUT OF ME ALL YEAR LONG!

August 17, 2003 You ask me how I survived the Blackout here in good 'ol NYC? Two words - IT SUCKED! Get me the hell out of here. No offense to the City that never sleeps, but, this place is blowing up a bit too often for my blood. The worst part wasn't the heat or the lack of electricity, not even the fact that the power was off for 31 hours. It was the lack of water. I was pretty much stranded on the 18th floor of my high rise. I was using a flash light to spelunk my way up and down the stairs helping people to their floors and running out to get water from open pumps. I also was a refuge camp for five people who were stranded in the city with no way to get out. That was actually more or less fun to play catch up with people I see once a year. But again - no water (and five people) made it extremely difficult. When they say it was like 9/11, they aren't kidding. I was there. I live walking distance from the hole in the ground from the Towers. I was on the streets that day too. But this time no one panicked. New Yorkers have a tough hide. I just wonder what the population will be like in 9 months :)

May 19, 2003 Following this whole Matrix theme that I've been immersed in for the past weekend - the party and finally getting out to see the movie, I'll just rant on them: A: The movie rocked - I can't say squat about it - I just want to see which one of my theories is the correct one - like the rest of ya! B: OK, I really have to get this thorn out of my side: I realize the whole crazy security thing but at the party, as we all know I was performing as Agent Smith or Agent VanGuard (God I like the sound of that). The club where this shindig went down knew that I was performing but yet had the urge to confiscate my beautiful Desert Eagles - from my TR costume which I won in one of them TR look-alike contests I'm so darn prone to enter. You should have seen the look on the poor guy's face when he was searching through my bags and pulled out those puppies - wish I had my camera out - but then this whole hoopla went down over them - HELLO! Performer... Agent... Matrix... = Guns. Well, this isn't my first time I've had trouble (I'm not even mentioning airports - yet another reason I switched to Black Widow - but I've had problems even with THAT!) - just so you can laugh at me, I had the unfortunate timing of starting the TR at cons thing right around the time of Columbine...

February 27, 2003 OK, I can't be the only one out there who thought that Dare Devil SUCKED! How hard was it to keep with the story about Elektra? I mean - come on... it would have made a lot more sense if he just realized that an old flame was coming back into his life and the rekindling of their old romance would have been a better motive for them to jump into bed together - am I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THIS??? (or is it my "method" acting class getting to me - what's my motivation people...) And who came up with the bright idea to shoot the fighting scenes like that? Could YOU see anything? If they do quick cuts and the action is skewed by flashing lights - then there wasn't much there to show so they mask it with those types of effects. Considering the budget - they could afford some DECENT Hong Kong stunt guys! AND THEIR FIGHT IN THE PARK!!!!!! Who's bright idea was this incredibly bad choreography? I just needed to vent that out. You know, for that matter - don't let me even GET started on Birds of Prey...

January 3, 2003 HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope each of you achieve your impossible dreams this year. What did I do this New Years? I went to a rave - I thought it was a lingerie party but... it was me in my corset and a bunch of raver kids... FABULOUS! I got to practice my little hand snake dance thingy... *mutters* Had a fabu time at Vulkon two months ago - yep, I haven't ranted in months - bad kitty, very bad kitty. But I DID get to host the costume contest and bounce on Jerry Doyle's lap *WHOOPIE*. I guess chicks dig guys in uniforms. However I didn't see him far from a beer mug at any time (I've got the video tape Bwahahaha!). Big shout outs to Peter Telep (author of the Wing Commander books), the kids from Sci Fi Radio, "The Limo Guy" (you know who you are), and Douglas Arthurs (Heru-ur from Stargate - The movie). Let me see... I had a crap load of stuff I wanted to get off my chest... but I had my armor on at the time... *groan*. I'm thinking of adding more cheesecake to my mix lately... what do you think? I wanna do a... GASP... a.... CALENDAR! For the year 2004 of course - 16 months of me! Ah! The power of the press,,, *snarl* Hey! You'll all be proud of me - I've started playing my guitar again *crowd cheers*. Yep! After 13 years of down time, I said to myself: "Self! Why not?" and self replied, "Sure" and smacked me upside the head for not doing it sooner. Now.. on to find a band to join...

December 30, 2003 Well! Jesus tap dancing Christ - I haven't ranted in a long time! Oh well... Here's a link to a picture with me from Dragonfest Well kiddies, I'm trading the East coast for the West coast - Ah... my Journey to the West as twer... So I'll get to see a whole lot of ya who've been buzzing around my head going "When will you come out here?" See? I live to please :) Thanks to all the folks who loved my ass getting blown up on All My Children. To answer the whole lot of ya, no - the fall didn't hurt. What hurt was all the crap they shoot at you when you fly off the air ramp. Stings like a bitch. Otherwise for the rest of you who wanna know, the debris is made up of wheat, flour, oatmeal and Styrofoam - basically everything you need to make some yummy cookies - aside from the Styrofoam HAPPY HOLIDAYS KIDDIES! I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A FABU NEW YEAR AND I GET THE CRAP KICKED OUT OF ME ALL YEAR LONG!

August 17, 2003 You ask me how I survived the Blackout here in good 'ol NYC? Two words - IT SUCKED! Get me the hell out of here. No offense to the City that never sleeps, but, this place is blowing up a bit too often for my blood. The worst part wasn't the heat or the lack of electricity, not even the fact that the power was off for 31 hours. It was the lack of water. I was pretty much stranded on the 18th floor of my high rise. I was using a flash light to spelunk my way up and down the stairs helping people to their floors and running out to get water from open pumps. I also was a refuge camp for five people who were stranded in the city with no way to get out. That was actually more or less fun to play catch up with people I see once a year. But again - no water (and five people) made it extremely difficult. When they say it was like 9/11, they aren't kidding. I was there. I live walking distance from the hole in the ground from the Towers. I was on the streets that day too. But this time no one panicked. New Yorkers have a tough hide. I just wonder what the population will be like in 9 months :)

May 19, 2003 Following this whole Matrix theme that I've been immersed in for the past weekend - the party and finally getting out to see the movie, I'll just rant on them: A: The movie rocked - I can't say squat about it - I just want to see which one of my theories is the correct one - like the rest of ya! B: OK, I really have to get this thorn out of my side: I realize the whole crazy security thing but at the party, as we all know I was performing as Agent Smith or Agent VanGuard (God I like the sound of that). The club where this shindig went down knew that I was performing but yet had the urge to confiscate my beautiful Desert Eagles - from my TR costume which I won in one of them TR look-alike contests I'm so darn prone to enter. You should have seen the look on the poor guy's face when he was searching through my bags and pulled out those puppies - wish I had my camera out - but then this whole hoopla went down over them - HELLO! Performer... Agent... Matrix... = Guns. Well, this isn't my first time I've had trouble (I'm not even mentioning airports - yet another reason I switched to Black Widow - but I've had problems even with THAT!) - just so you can laugh at me, I had the unfortunate timing of starting the TR at cons thing right around the time of Columbine...

February 27, 2003 OK, I can't be the only one out there who thought that Dare Devil SUCKED! How hard was it to keep with the story about Elektra? I mean - come on... it would have made a lot more sense if he just realized that an old flame was coming back into his life and the rekindling of their old romance would have been a better motive for them to jump into bed together - am I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THIS??? (or is it my "method" acting class getting to me - what's my motivation people...) And who came up with the bright idea to shoot the fighting scenes like that? Could YOU see anything? If they do quick cuts and the action is skewed by flashing lights - then there wasn't much there to show so they mask it with those types of effects. Considering the budget - they could afford some DECENT Hong Kong stunt guys! AND THEIR FIGHT IN THE PARK!!!!!! Who's bright idea was this incredibly bad choreography? I just needed to vent that out. You know, for that matter - don't let me even GET started on Birds of Prey...

January 3, 2003 HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope each of you achieve your impossible dreams this year. What did I do this New Years? I went to a rave - I thought it was a lingerie party but... it was me in my corset and a bunch of raver kids... FABULOUS! I got to practice my little hand snake dance thingy... *mutters* Had a fabu time at Vulkon two months ago - yep, I haven't ranted in months - bad kitty, very bad kitty. But I DID get to host the costume contest and bounce on Jerry Doyle's lap *WHOOPIE*. I guess chicks dig guys in uniforms. However I didn't see him far from a beer mug at any time (I've got the video tape Bwahahaha!). Big shout outs to Peter Telep (author of the Wing Commander books), the kids from Sci Fi Radio, "The Limo Guy" (you know who you are), and Douglas Arthurs (Heru-ur from Stargate - The movie). Let me see... I had a crap load of stuff I wanted to get off my chest... but I had my armor on at the time... *groan*. I'm thinking of adding more cheesecake to my mix lately... what do you think? I wanna do a... GASP... a.... CALENDAR! For the year 2004 of course - 16 months of me! Ah! The power of the press,,, *snarl* Hey! You'll all be proud of me - I've started playing my guitar again *crowd cheers*. Yep! After 13 years of down time, I said to myself: "Self! Why not?" and self replied, "Sure" and smacked me upside the head for not doing it sooner. Now.. on to find a band to join...

September 10, 2002 Dragon con! The best con that I had this year. Just to recap - Friday night... Witchblade - yep! Witchblade! I didn't even know I was gonna do that costume until I got a call from the good people of Xtreme Design FX who promised me the gauntlet if I put on the Clayburn Moore Action Figure Series II in the black dress costume. I said "hold on a second". I went into the closet and started throwing out the dress... gloves... thigh high boots... Didn't have to do anything but put on the head piece make-up and the Witchblade glove. So enjoy the pics that are up in the Conventions Gallery. Saturday - Photo opps like a mad woman. It takes about an hour to get from point A to point B. The procedure looks like this: step pose step pose step pose etc. I hope you kids got some good pics. I don't think I blinked the entire weekend. Sunday, I was doing my photo op thing when the guitarist from Jefferson Starship comes up to me (as I'm flirting with a cute Asian guy and asked me if I'd dance on stage with them. "K" I said. Next thing I know, I'm dancing on stage... in my bleeding 6 inch heel clad feet. Ah! Adrenaline... what a great pain killer. I wound up dancing the night away.

August 5, 2002 You know, I haven't ranted about the last two cons I've been to. I didn't rant about the Madison Square Garden show one bit... Hmmm... Well, actually I don't remember crap about the show other than 1. I didn't dress up cause that would have made me the only idiot in costume... hmmm... that may not have been so bad... but people! It was a REALLY hot day... 2. I met my favorite comic book creator - Keith Giffen and 3. I made James O'Barr blush - a formidable task indeed, but... not impossible. Now, about San Diego... if I was to forget about walking the three miles from end to end of the convention center in spiked six inch heels for a moment... I'd say I had a pretty good time indeed. A big shout out to Danny A. and Gabriel, and all the other hot Asian guys I saw... (the rest of you can wonder what I mean by that). A big thank you to Zen Dragon of Adventurers Place and his lovely wife as well as a big hello and thank you to Jonz and his brother. Otherwise, I wonder... I had a pro badge (I was signing 'n stuff)... could I have participated in the Masquerade? Probably but not win... WHAAAaaaaaaa.... I make such a darn good Black Widow... I'll have to play her if there is ever a movie made about it... Da! ya dalzshna (translation: Yes! I must)... Some of those costumes were just too good for words. I hate to say such things but... I repeat... if you want to wear the costume... please get your bootylicious self to a gym. Peace out.

May 21, 2002 Philly was a totally great experience. It will definitely take them a while before it will be as good as Chicago but overall a good first try. I got to see all my buds. Met the main men of Marvel and sat through hours of Kevin Smith, my idol and idol to all fanboys who never get the chance to live out their fanboy dreams. My one great big disappointment? Ray Park did not do what he was suppose to - a la GIVE A STUNT FIGHTING DEMO! I shake my fist angrily at him! It was one of the reasons I was so anxious to go there. But on the bright side I got a pic with Lou the Incredible Hunk - I mean Hulk... *wipes dewy brow* Big shout out to my man Scott "Whassupp!!! Guy" Brooks.

April 29, 2001 WOW! Its been too long since I ranted, way too long. Maybe it's because I've been pretty happy. AK! Me? Happy? Did the world explode or something? Did hell freeze over? Wait a minute... come to think of it... IT DID! OK! That makes perfect sense then... if the world blew up, then what the hell do I have to complain about? I'm really beginning to worry. I haven't hurt myself at all in the last few months, not even a bruise! WTF!!! This is no behavior for the Warrior Mistress! I should be out there killing myself for the amusement of others... Ah crap... forget it... *mutters to self* On the bright side, perhaps working on my new movie "Sada's Soul" will give me the pain and agony which I am so used to living with! Joy! Darn it! I just got this hair modeling gig and they are going to dye my hair brown! Bleh! I have yet to get any pics of this new thing three Chinese women who attacked me in a salon did. I have this total anime hair with these wicked acid red streaks. I'll try to get some pics of it before it gets destroyed. *sniff* - they say they'll change it back... THEY BETTER.

January 31, 2001 The NATPE Convention! Holy Crap! Vegas! Crap Crap Crap! That convention made me want to jump off the roof - so I did - as soon as I came back to my hotel room, I changed and without much further thought bungee jumped WEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! After that, I was pretty much calm. How was it? They video taped it and I totally did a Lara swan dive - I was pretty impressed how graceful I looked. I'm glad I did it and I'll do it again - I figure the next thing is sky diving... I worked pretty hard. I got a lot done and I got to meet and hang out with Karen Sheperd and Matthias Hues. Both were extremely cool and great to be with since they came out to support the Very Special Agents TV series that they are starring in (yours truly is producing and costarring). Other great people I met included a lot of the other presenters. Check out www.thekwoon.com where the guys pride themselves with "Bad Acting and Good Kung Fu". In my humble opinion, anything that has Cung Le in it gets a thumbs up! BTW, Cung came around and hung out with me in my booth - WAY COOL! Crap! I missed Kevin Sorbo! He was there but I was out like a crazy woman trying to sell the show and I missed him. I could have pitched the crap out of it to him since Karen played the Enforcer on Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. Crap! Watch out Kevin! You are next on my list. LOL! So I come home like a mad woman - a week of no sleep, no food. I'm still sleeping it off. The next day after arriving, I had a cameo in "Strange Things Happen at Sundown" where I am (for the second time!) a vampire's victim - but not before an impressive display of kung fu. They poured so much blood on me... and with my paper white skin... ugh! I never say no to anything! Gosh! Maybe that's why I have red hair - perhaps I'm really a blond...Bwahahahahaha!

January 10, 2001 Ahhhh! How refreshing - Two whole weeks of holidays and not doing anything - why you ask? MY FREAKIN' final MOLAR decided to grow in and get infected on Christmas Eve. BTW MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE!!!! Lets just say I didn't look pretty... But all was well for Fangoria! That was a small and quiet con. Did anyone even know about it? Heeellllooooo!!! Did those guys even bother to promote? Sheesh! Anyway, I had a blast meeting with all the indie guys (time to put some more vamp movies under my belt). Speaking of that, I just got a part in a film I'm just crazy about - it's just a cameo but I get a ton of blood poured on me... YUMMY! Just another day in the life... I'm busting my ass these days trying to get everything ready for NATPE. I'm GOIN" TO VEGAS! YEEEEEHAAAAAA!!!! I love Vegas! I hate the sun but I LOVE Vegas! It is that type of place where the heat is so dry, it's almost comfortable. I was walking around (with SPF 1,000,000 on) dressed in all black and I still felt comfortable the last time I was there. Mark my words "Very Special Agents" WILL go somewhere! (Down the toilet counts LOL!). OK, so now I'm toying with the idea of opening a gym - some stress management by kicking the crap out of something inanimate - I think this is far cheaper than a shrink, no? Hey! Enjoy the new pics from funny photo shoots I've been doing lately. I've designed a new business card so all of you who have my old card (especially signed), they are collector's items (I only printed, like, 2000) and will never print that old design again. The new cards will feature a similar front but the back pic will be one of me in the Fantasy Armor. Enjoy kiddies!

November 15, 2001 If you ask me what has been the hardest part of the last two weeks, I couldn't tell you. Lack of sleep? Lack of rest? Doing three shows in a row last Wednesday? But the rewards are endless! I've been in newspapers all week and I'm very proud of the show and the cast. THANK YOU GUYS and Fred. Best of all - nobody went to the hospital. This was pretty funny because in the NY Newsweek article, in the first paragraph, they mentioned by bloody head. Yep! That incident makes for a great story. Of course there were some bloody knuckles, scrapes and bruises - all normal parts of a healthy show. But let me tell you, when I burst out of the wings and onto that stage and the crowd is cheering - it makes it all worth while. I want to thank everyone who have written me Birthday Wishes. THANK YOU! It was the best birthday ever since I spent it doing what I love to do - act and fight (in a choreographed music epic). I also want to say thank you to all those who came out to see me. Wasn't it fun!? We were sold out most shows. I also want to give some props to the Jersey Championship Wrestling guys! Special thanks to Joey and Adam (the two guys I worked with). They were incredible and extremely fearless. I'm gonna introduce them to my stunt team :) I loved doing the valet thing for the bad boys. Unfortunately, I find acting bitchy and mean to people is next to impossible. Maybe I'll learn one day... I actually find it pretty funny that when people meet me for the first time, they are pretty surprised that I'm 1. Not six feet tall and 2. Not a psycho running around looking to kick somebody's ass. Sorry. I'm pretty Zen with the universe.

October 29, 2001 Ah! Chiller! What a huge con! I didn't get around to half of what I wanted to see that day. I really can't deal with sitting behind a table for most of the day! It stifles my will to live and it does not seem to be fun any more! Blah! It was a lot more fun when I just went to walk around wearing tight shiny black clothes. That was cool! Sitting behind a table is not cool. OK, that was my gripe. All in all, I got to see some of my favorite celebs and got to muscle in to talk with Ray Park for a bit about my show, I invited him (like, duh!) but I think he'll be in Cali the week we're on. I'll just have to drag him to another performance at some point. Cute accent Ray... It was freezing! I couldn't believe that all the celebs were thrown out into a tent outside the hotel. I'm sure it's better for room purposes but yeesh! Everyone was frozen solid. I think the warmest spot was by the wrestler Virgil (you can be assured I was by him for a while). Another con, I didn't really want to mention but here goes, was the Big Apple con. It was the first time I actually had a table to sit at. People were extremely nice there. However, I was CENSORED! Yep! "Put that cleavage away!!!" was all I heard all day. "The priests are coming!", "cover those pictures up!". I must say, yep I have cleavage but all of you know I am the most conservative and good girl right? AND IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH A LITTLE CLEAVAGE?... I didn't even see a darn priest.... *rumbles*

September 27, 2001 Not that I want to offend anybody, since conscience is a big thing with me *gag*, but I'M OK! Alive and well! I just saw them fall, they didn't fall on top of me! I've gotten more invitations to "stay" with people all over the world than I would like to admit to. Yep kids! Bring me home to mother! I love to be responsible for heart attacks everywhere. It's my family curse. Not that I really want to discuss that curse thing further but if you must know, men involved with women in my family tend to die in compromising positions during throws of passion. I know I know! All the guys are going "what a way to go!" but you never think about the woman! What the hell will I do after you keel over? Can you imagine me telling your mother the next day, "well, um... you see... he invited me to stay with him so I can get out of New York and next thing I know... one thing lead to another and now he's dead... uh... why the smile on his face?.... um... I dunno..." Then I run like hell. You see people? That just won't work! I appreciate the gestures but NYC is "MY island"! No stinking terrorist is gonna scare me out of here! I was talking to some of my cast members from "Once upon a time..." and I asked them what we would have done if on the way to or from Seattle our plane was hijacked by terrorists, and they said "we'd need the biggest and the strongest to get that crazy redhead OFF them". What a compliment. A plane filled with martial artists. Interesting... I don't mean anything by that thought but it gives me comfort in some ways. AH! but how the hell can we go on tour again (with all our weapons and props) if you can't take a stick of gum with you without setting off the alarm? (my friend who just came back from Canada told me about the gum). We should all just strip and go in through the metal detectors with both hands holding our cheeks wide open. *Moans* But of course, some people might find that offensive. I say, make sure your ass is washed and you're wearing clean underwear.

September 12, 2001 I'm sorry that I have not updated more fans sooner but I had no way of getting on the net until today. Thank you to everyone who has e-mailed me with their concerns and deepest wishes! I am OK. As some of you know, I worked one block from ground zero but lucky for me, I was fired from my job on Friday which saved my life because I would have been right below the crash site right at the exact time the planes crashed and debris started falling. I was awakened that morning by the sound of the first crash and looked out my window to see something which looked like a scene from Independence Day. I thought to myself, "well that sucks! That is one hell of an accident!". Then the second plane crashed and I stood there absolutely shocked and stunned. I did not scream but none the less, I have lost my voice - something that has not happened to me since I lost my father when I was sixteen years old. I watched, with a gaping mouth, out of my apartment window (I live on the 18th floor in a 23 story building with a clear view of both the Twin Towers on one side and The Empire State Building on the other) the second plane crash into the tower and I sat there thinking to myself, "Terrorism! Shit! Not in MY town!". In the words of that crazy Irish guy in Braveheart "It's my island!" Then I thought about the thousands of lives I knew were gone in an instant and my heart went out to them and their families. I wondered morbidly what people might have thought when they looked out their windows and saw the plane coming right at them. "Well, the Towers are burning pretty badly now but hopefully, if they just put out the fires in time, they might be able to salvage the Towers" was another thought that went through my mind. Then, I witnessed both towers collapse. One at a time. I saw debris and what I can only describe as people jumping to their doom out of windows, rather than being burned alive, which I could also see right before the collapses. The collapses themselves happened almost in slow motion. The top thirty floors of the second tower blew out as the building collapsed in on itself. My phone has been ringing constantly from friends and loved ones who were not aware yet that I was not at that location at the time. Thank you all. I am all right. Thank you for your e-mails as well. You can always e-mail me at vevil@earthlink.net but while I barely got online today, it may take a while for me to reply to you. I am also almost finished with a new look for my site so that slows me down as well. New York is pretty much under military rule right now below 14th street. I could see the beautiful New York skyline out my window every morning when I woke up each day and now my skyline is very much bare and it is very frightening. Oh well. New York is a very calm town almost a ghost town right now. No cars are allowed to drive in the downtown area and I can walk to the Towers in about thirty minutes so I was very close. I had a photo shoot yesterday (which I actually made after a two hour hike uptown), and I got to observe a lot of people on the street and the National Guard everywhere including military, police, and fire fighters. It is a most incredible sight. I saw many people walking covered in the dust, without shoes, talking to themselves, deep in thought. I was also amazed to see many water and juice stations set up in my area (since I am so close to the incident) and it was refreshing since the day itself was sunny and hot. No cars were driving the streets. The city was on lock down. No in. No out. They let people walk across some bridges to try to get home and so I walked through a see of people who were calm and sullen, slowly makin' their way back home and to let their loved ones know they were all right. All of the stores were closed and there were a few shops open who sold water. Before I started my hike, I ran to the store to get some food. I couldn't get online until 2pm the next day and many fans have written me to see if I was OK - especially those who knew I worked a block away from ground zero. I also don't have cable so I have just one channel on which is broadcasting the incident 24 hours a day. But I along with the millions of other New Yorkers am still in a state of shock. It used to be my favorite spot to hang out in which was the park between the Towers.

September 4, 2001 I'm back from Dragon Con and holy cow! I can safely say that several thousand people stopped to take my picture as I was walking around all over the place. Highlights for me were meeting all the Babylon 5 stars and chatting with them, Captain Marvel was a great guy, I signed autographs for the likes of Darth Vader, Chewey, and Captain Apollo. I spoke at length and got my butt squeezed by the cast members of Aliens, got my hand kissed by Scotty (I was blushing for about 30 minutes after that) and my favorite part you ask? I got to meet Donnie Yen (you know... that Iron Monkey and Wing Chun guy - he was also single handily responsible for the best fight, him and Adrian Paul - Kwon Do vs. Kitana, in that last Highlander movie I'm trying really hard to forget UGH! - what were they thinking?). I made Donnie blush. Well, its official! I'm the new Lara Croft model and muse for Adam Hughes (you know, that awesome artist who also does Wonder Woman covers). THANK YOU ADAM! YOU ARE THE BEST!!! I was also his guest at the con. THAT ROCKED! AND he's, like, the nicest guy in the world. And so kiddies, what started out as a hobby, has taken me to places I had no idea that be...

August 28, 2001 I had a nightmare last night, an "Actor's Nightmare". I dreamed I was a star on the set of some high budget movie with the cameras rolling... and I forgot all my lines. EEEEEPPPP! I woke up in a cold sweat... or maybe my air conditioner was on too high?... It could be that I'm totally nervous about performing... yep, scared. I just hope the performance comes out OK on Saturday at Dragon Con because we busted our asses for it. Damage was kept to a minimum you blood hungry bastiches! (I love Lobo comics - I have every single one). I'll be bringing some prints with me to the con (yep finally, some prints!) that will not appear in any of my galleries - they are usually just reserved for candid photos from places I go and people I see). I'll be sitting in with Dragon's Heart Leather at the con since I'm their official pinup girl. I've been up to a lot of photo shoots lately, this weekend alone was totally crazy. It was complete with a 50's pinup shoot and I also crept around some castles in New Jersey (CASTLES IN NEW JERSEY? What the f@#%!* - did you know there are castles in NJ?) to shoot some pro prints in the Dragon Armor. I'll get them back on Thursday. I'm also working with on the new and improved version of my web site It's going to have a new look very soon and GUESS WHAT! The domain will finally be www.warriormistress.com - as God intended. No more of this freeservers template crap. Hallelujah! I'll rant as soon as I get back from Atlanta. I can't wait to see everyone there!

August 23, 2001 Some people have been bugging me about how come I haven't been bitching about all my bumps and bruises. *Sigh* I guess there really IS a fetish for everything, even masochistic girls... well... you see... I've been doing a lot of modeling lately and that type of work doesn't require me to get my ass kicked. However, I did a video shoot a few days ago for www.karatedom.com doing some technique demonstrations (I can fake karate very poorly so if it looks like kung fu, well, SO WHAT!). I brought in a stunt partner to be the punching bag and all was going well until I was doing a blind reverse jumping crescent kick and caught the top squishy part of my foot on his very hard elbow. OUCH! I was limping for a couple of days and sat at work with a bag of ice on my foot. It's fine now, thanks for asking *rumbles to herself*. THERE! Happy?! I'm bruised to death from rehearsals with another girl for the costume contest at Dragon Con (she keeps raking my knuckles with the weapons). I'm not suppose to tell you what we're doing in the contest, her idea, I personally don't care to keep it a secret but she asked me and this darn honor thing I have... *rumbles to herself like a senile old woman*, HOWEVER, its open season after the fact!!! See ya there kiddies.

August 20, 2001 Pennsic XXX. Holy nut cakes! I don't think there was a single fire pit where I wasn't to be seen at dancing with my war fan and sai dressed up like you see me on the home page. Oh how the Spirit did move me! Fire dancing kicks butt. I've walked on hot coals a few times and thought that was a rush but nothing is like the beat of ten to twenty drummers banging out a rhythm in the moonlight by a huge fire pit. Basically this was (and I have concurred with a bunch of other people) the smoothest WAR ever. Days were spent merchanting and helping those in need of therapy (in case people didn't know, I give one hell of a back rub), and nights were spent by fire pits with war paint on. I wanted to get woaded but there was just never any time. Ah, maybe next year. I took a roll of photos from the Hellnite Party (www.hellnite.com) where I was an official whip mistress and demoness (I also unveiled my dragon armor for the first time there). Ouch! The leather bit me. As a side note, I'm doing a photo shoot this weekend in it and I will hold my newest conquest in my hand - a new Angel Steel sword. I have spoken to Holly Golightly and they will wait for a picture for perhaps another run as the Broadsword Girl. I personally can't wait for Dragon Con now. I'm doing another photo shoot for an artist there - well, lets just hope the results will be spectacular... tangent, tangent... where was I? Oh yes, WAR! Well, that's it. Did I mention the thing went smoothly? Nobody tried to kill themselves (that was soooo last year), nobody freaked out (too much) and I didn't wind up getting any stitches (awe! too bad kiddies). See ya next year Pennsic folks! It was great seeing all my friends again!

July 30, 2001 The Super Mega Show Rocked! From the moment I walked in it was pure madness! Mike Memphis (www.mikememphis.com) was on the mike and the second he saw me he was like, "THE TOMB RAIDER IS HERE!!!". That was awesome. After that, it was a free for all. Pictures will follow soon... I got to meet the absolutely Zen with the universe Bionic Woman herself Lindsay Wagner, said yo to wrestler Prodigy, gave John Kronus a woody (Yeah Baby! - he is SUCH a nice guy), got my guns stolen by wrestler Virgil, got a big bear hug from the Iron Sheik (he's so cool), crept past Soupy Sales (damn he's old) and the cast of The Sopranos (only stopping for Johny Flore but we go back to the Big Apple Show), hung with pimp daddy Louis Small Jr. and cartoonist Brian Buniak (check out my art page for his work), filmed some stunt skits for the Sci-fi Ninja Theater, and somewhere along the way was hired on the spot as a new ring girl by the Jersey Wrestling Championships guys. Cool I always wanted to do that! On the way out, we almost road killed Booth Colman (Dr. Zaius), there was a Planet of the Apes reunion going on as well, and speaking of that! I was on stage dancing with the band "The Characters" (always a pleasure guys!) doing my TR thing, gathering a crowd, I finally pried the guitar away from the guitarist and I was halfway into the opening of "Master of Puppets" when I had to stop because the Ape guys were doing their thing. Lets see... Shiny latex Lara Croft playing Metallica or a bunch of geezers talking... I just don't know what I would choose... A Very Special THANK YOU to everyone who brought me copies of pictures, Hawkeye, and especially to Mark who gave me the most kick ass graphic W.M. business cards I've ever seen.

July 16, 2001 Had an interesting weekend. My mother and what I call her "Theater going Russian Posse" consisting of old fat geezer Russian women (I'm sorry for your sudden loss of appetite after that mental image) took me to Chippendales on Saturday night. *Yawn* - Not enough blood and gore (where are those fanboys when I need them)... Well, on another high note of my life, I met and shook hands with Linda Lovelace at the VAMP convention. I almost didn't make it! I got there around 3pm. But! I got to hang with the Dreamkittens.com people (had two of them on my lap for a photo) and had a lot of fun talking with the world's sexiest brunette Linda O'Neil (www.lindaoneil.com) and was honored when she shared some boob secrets with me (and we all know I love her boobs!). Other mentionables were www.camerakittens.com, www.fantasyartpages.com, www.deepred.tv, and check out www.tinakrause.com.

July 3, 2001 This is pretty cool! I feel like I lost my virginity yesterday. Why you ask? Well, I was finishing up filming my cameo for "Vampire Lesbian Kickboxers" and for the first time EVER, "I" was the victim! Yep. I got eaten by two lady vampires! Woohoo! That was cool! I got to act silly scared and then orgasmic from the love bite. Yeeha! You go girls... June 25, 2001 YOU BLOOD THIRSTY PEOPLE! I BET YOU GET OFF ON HEARING ABOUT ME CRACK MY HEAD OPEN... over and over again. Now this is getting interesting. I never really set out to do any certain type of film or anything else but five vampire genre movies later, I believe I can start thinking of myself as a little bit type cast. Shhhhhh! Don't tell anyone. I mean, its pretty cool. Yesterday when we were shooting "Vampire Playmates", I couldn't live without my fang glue (they kept falling out). All I have to say it "OOOOH BABY" to the outfit I wore. If you are into French maids with petticoats galore, well, this will make you say "WEEEEEEEEEE". So now I'm officially a genre film star. I set out to be a stunt woman and this is what I get. Oh well...

June 20, 2001 So I filmed a cameo in "Vampire Lesbian Kickboxers" yesterday and got to see the rough edit. Its actually a pretty cool movie for its' genre. I recommend it! Lots of sex scenes and nudity with guys AND girls. The story is pretty good as well. I met the director at Fangoria and she called me up the night before and asked me if I'd be in it. I'm like "K". So in went the fangs and contacts, on went the thigh high black vinyl shiny boots - those are MY legs and abs and cleavage in the opening credits. Then, I did some kicks. We ordered Thai and I got a chance to play with the dozen Emmy's on the wall of the production place. I couldn't help it, grabbed one off the wall and thanked the Academy (shut up Oscar, schmoscar). Then I put it back on the wall and couldn't believe I held a real Emmy in my hand - one day, mark my words, I'll have one of my own.

June 18, 2001 O.K. I saw the Tomb Raider Movie. Period. Well... if you really must know my opinion, I thought Angelina was a great Lara (not that she looked like her very much but all the characteristics were great). The story, leaves more than much to be desired. When I saw the X-men movie, they did a very good job of setting up for sequels, this movie didn't. Overall kudos to Jolie for her stunts. They were definitely not easy. I boo the script writers. Then again, the jumps in logic that the games themselves have... well, I can't complain. I just play the games... Enjoy the movie kiddies.

June 13, 2001 So I spend the day yesterday helping out the stunt crew on the comedy movie "Oeloff and Martin" or at least I think that's what it's called. There was another stunt crew of three small stuntwomen who I watched all day with wide eyes. My job was basically to film my stunt crew as they went through their fight sequence. The guys were stunting the girls so I just helped wherever I could. Now, back to the stuntwomen. Without giving away too much about the movie, the three were strapped together, dressed in a latex one piece suit in the shape of spare ribs and they were hoisted on a bridge only to be dropped (or dipped) to their doom into a huge pot of sauce by the resident evil. YOU figure it out. Apparently, they will be saved in the nick of time by a nine foot penis whipped out of someone's pants. But I digress. All I know is - I had fun.

June 4, 2001 Wow! I was invited to an eight hour stuntman's class last Friday (you can check out the teacher's stunt reel at www.stuntworks.org). We were taught how to properly fall without taking much damage (something I desperately need as we all know) and then it got really cool when we got into Hong Kong Style wire work. Some of the cooler stunts we practiced were jumping off a ladder onto a mini trampoline, flipping in the air and landing on our backs (and making it look cool). Piece of cake. I'm actually shocked that I walked away from the class without a scratch (a girl can get used to this). I wasn't even sore the next day from the constant falling. We even filmed some of it to see what we looked like. It was very cool and Roberto Lopez is totally cool to work with - SO IF ANYONE NEEDS A STUNT CREW... I toured the McFarlane Action Figures office in NJ. Holy cow! We're not worthy. The amount of work those guys put into creating their ac